One of the many benefits of these OS trips is the many challenges one faces when they leave their house with a severely disabled child. There are so many more challenges than anyone could ever imagine before they left home.
The OS journey has me problem solve, find new ways to do things and build up resilience. It makes it far harder to argue for staying home from a visit to the Westfield on a regular Saturday afternoon (10 minutes drive) just because I am tired ... if we can make it all the way to Tuscany!!
I have planned this trip for months and yet on the third day of the physiotherapy with Tereza we had both a breakdown and a meltdown! I returned from an hour or so of the yoga training, just a few minutes walk from where we were staying. I found Tereza sheet white and angry. Not with me or with Sierra, but from what was a BIG day. Sierra had choked, had big seizures, spat out nearly all the food she had been fed and then angrily tried to eat the spoon out of Tereza's hand due to hunger and probably dehydration.
I took one look at Tereza and knew she needed a break but it also kicked off my own realisation (yet again) of ALL that Shane, Sierra as I deal with on a daily basis. It's always stressful, it's often life or death and Sierra's need for care and focussed attention is relentless.
I started crying, sobbing in fact. Thank goodness there is somewhere in the world that was safe enough to really 'go there'. I cried for about 24 hours. It just kept coming in waves. Seeing Tereza's face had been like looking in a mirror.
Then the crying came to an end...(for now)